Bible, Blog, Sex

Christianity, Sex, and The Bachelorette

When I told Jason (my fiancé) I wanted to get home to watch the latest episode of the Bachelorette, he cringed. Well, I get it. Watching the Bachelorette isn’t the most, say, encouraging or “holy” way to spend a Monday night. Many of you might feel the same! I also know that many of you watch the show though, like me, and saw the whole Hannah B. and Luke P. “blow up” last night during the fantasy suite episode. I was curious to see how Hannah B. would go about the fantasy suites (the Bachelorette’s way to describe an overnight date). As a proclaimed Christian, would Hannah B. stay in the fantasy suites? Would she have sex with the guys on the show before marriage? 

First, I want to clarify some things. We do not know exactly what happened on the show, all we know is what ABC shows us. We cannot believe everything we see on TV or read on the internet. This post is not to condemn Hannah B., Luke P., or The Bachelorette, for that matter. It is, however, to share with young women the Truth of the Gospel and clarify the position of Jesus on the matter of sex and judgment of others. 

When Luke P. brought up the truth of the gospel, maybe in a way that wasn’t fully speaking the truth in love, but was truth nonetheless, Hannah B. admitted to having sex with one or more of the contestants on the show, more than once. She declared it as something that was not “a slip-up.” She was full of anger, but not righteous anger, prideful anger. Who knows if Luke P. was genuine in his desire to discuss sex with Hannah, but it does not change the fact that his words were trueGod does hold in honor the marriage bed and desire for us to keep it pure(Hebrews 13:4). He calls us out of our old ways and into a new life(2 Cor 5:17Eph 4:22-24).

Hannah B.’s words seemed to convey the message that God does not care about our sin. That we can do whatever we want, with no judgment, and “Jesus still loves [us].” Yes, he loves us. But God does care about our sin. So much so, that He sent his Son to die on the cross to have the punishment we deserve for our sinful behavior, that our relationship with Him could be rectified. No, we are not saved by works, but our actions clearly convey our heart and our salvation. When Hannah B. made the claim that she can do whatever she wants, she conveyed the message that grace is an excuse for sin. “Though we are forgiven, we are not to use grace as an excuse to continue in our destruction” (Seeds of the Spirit Blog, 2019). God’s grace is a gift, one we are not to take lightly. 

“Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means!” Romans 6:1-2

“If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.” Hebrews 10:26-27

I am writing this post to share with you that what was conveyed through the most recent episode of the Bachelorette, that God does not care about our sin, is not true. I am afraid for our generation that sees this portrayal of Christianity. 

“When we come to Christ, we are set free to follow him, but we can also abuse that freedom by returning to the slavery of following ourselves—see Galatians 5:1” (Seeds of the Spirit Blog, 2019).

When Hannah was angry when a fellow believer tried to discuss Truth, she used the story “A Woman Caught in Adultery” in John 8 and “Judging Others” in Matthew 7. However, what was missed in John 8 was Jesus’ command to “go and sin no more” (John 8:11). We are not supposed to go on sinning, justifying our sin by God’s grace.

The warning of Matthew 7 is to “first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” She seemingly wanted Luke to know that she believed he was trying to remove her speck, sex when he dealt with his own plank, pride. She did not believe he could point out her sin without being completely sin-free.  However, “Jesus is not implying that we be so ‘judgement-free’ that we are not to notice our brother’s inability to see.”(Dan B. Allender in Bold Love, p. 201). Galatians 6:1 tells us, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently…” 

What I really want for you to take away are the following points:

  1. God does hold the marriage bed pure; sex is reserved for marriage.
  2. You are not too far gone if you are not a virgin, you are so loved by the Lord. Step into your life as a new creation and sin no more. 
  3. Unrepented sin is different from repented sin. When we are unrepentant, we quench the Holy Spirit and become far from God (see this Desiring God article for more on quenching the Spirit). When we are repentant, God uses our past for His glory.
  4. We are called to correct our brothers and sisters with truth in love. It is not loving to refrain from speaking the truth to another Christian. However, it does not mean we expect the same from non-believers/ go correcting non-believers. 
  5. Go and live life as an example of Christ. People are watching. Maybe not millions, like on the Bachelorette, but they are.  

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.”—Ephesians 4:1


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