I know it’s been a while. I don’t like to write unless the Holy Spirit calls me. Here I am, though, with something the Lord spoke to me. It’s raw and honest about friendships and the root of insecurities. I secretly worry about my friendships — a lot. Maybe you do too, and I hope this speaks to you, sis. Here’s a tidbit from my journal, a dialogue between the Lord and me.
Lord, why did it hurt when the plans were changed? I felt uninvited. Why? What is the root? I want to be known. Deeper. I want to be VALUED in many ways; my time, my presence, my input. Is this my pride? That I should be worthy of this?
I do not recognize that you value me. You value my time, my presence, and what I say. You cherish me, God.
Why do I care so much about being understood by people then if you understand me? I’m not spending quality time with you.
I secretly worry about being replaced. Being replaced by anyone, even by you, God.
And He said…
Be secure in me, secure in who I tell you are. In who I am, unchanging. I don’t change my mind about you. I love you, my daughter. You are treasured, and you were created with a purpose and fire in your soul. I do not make mistakes. You are secure in me, rests in that my child.
Be secure in the Lord. Seek Him in prayer and petition. Pray without ceasing, journal, connect, and read His Word.